I cannot believe it is the last official month of summer.
I have certainly packed enough fun into this one; my past summers pale in comparison. As the cold days kick in, I will miss being comfortable outdoors. And the fun events that ensue, without a doubt. Alas, summer's end is simply another aspect that makes the season seem like such a special treat.
This year's season will be remembered as many things; one in particular will be how I fell back into painting. The positive, peaceful me in my head is meditating with a knowing smile at this while the other one rolls her eyes and huffs. Painting will likely be a perpetual in-and-out situation for me. So be it. Since I have started it up again, one of my beautiful downtown friends has invited me to an event soon to display said creations! What fun. Of course, I'll have the option of selling these pieces, but I have (thus far) found that it is an unlikely event. Paintings are just too expensive for the marketplace audience. This scenario I have been invited to will be closer to a farmer's market than a gala. People come to such things with enough cash to cover three beets and an overpriced can of homemade salsa, not a 37 x 27 acrylic on canvas. I am just excited to be a part of it - and this art community is simply the best, so it will be great to hang out/be around them.
While my venture for a writing side-gig does not go entirely unanswered, it hangs in the air like a cobweb on a cathedral ceiling. So it will be quite nice to be able to focus on something else creative while I keep up the search. Print off some more "Love Lexx Studios" business cards, perhaps get some prints... sometimes the fun is in the little details.
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Wild Mood Swings
Whether you know this or not, I am attempting to refer to a the Cure CD with this blog title. (Check it out if you haven't, it's a good'n.)
I am, in my natural state, fairly even-keeled. My mother, not one to casually project compliments of this nature, once told me that I have the patience of a monk. Am I stressed and anxious on the inside? Probably. But that's more of a quiet storm, one that does not often effect my mood. As such, it comes as a great shock to me when I actually feel something and have what I refer to as a "mood". When I experience one of these "moods", I am transported to a now-familiar scene inside my own head. A dark, calm, quiet living room with one maroon sofa, one tall floor lamp, and a rug on the unfinished hardwood floors. Also residing in this cranial flat for all of eternity; the two versions of myself. One leisurely reclining on the aforementioned sofa, and the other nervously pacing the floor before the first.
The me in repose is the calmest version of my self. She is optimistic, sweet, quiet and is sometimes holding my cat, Romeo. The other, perpetually in motion, is representative of my tense self. Violently distressed, she is suspicious, emotive, loud and very typically a sweating wreck. On the other hand, the couch-me keeps me in bed too long and the sweaty-me is the only reason I get anything done. You learn to take the good with the bad.
As I understand, this is quite normal and even boring to the greater population. But I'm sure they do things that they find to be odd, remarkable or even magnificent that I do without thinking. So what's fair is fair; you write about your mundane thing, I'll write about mine.
These moods are not common, I certainly cannot count on them, but the most common theme between them all? Relationships. I don't mean romantically, not necessarily, anyway. I mean any relationship. And, more often than not, I do not find myself terribly vexed by the notion of spending my life without a lover, but evermore disturbed by the thought of losing a friend, drifting further apart, being mistreated by one, etc... Ask any woman worth her salt; a break up between her and her best friend will inevitably be worse than one with her and her romantic partner. Who will I daydream about going on silly little day adventures with now?
It seems to me that I should take the advice of my own harsh, logical thoughts and "get over it already". But I'm not certain I would if I even could. Feeling is nice, every once in a while. Especially for something I care about so much; my friends/family. They get all of my heart, which, to say the least, will always be risky. It will also always be worth it. And so continue the wild mood swings.
I am, in my natural state, fairly even-keeled. My mother, not one to casually project compliments of this nature, once told me that I have the patience of a monk. Am I stressed and anxious on the inside? Probably. But that's more of a quiet storm, one that does not often effect my mood. As such, it comes as a great shock to me when I actually feel something and have what I refer to as a "mood". When I experience one of these "moods", I am transported to a now-familiar scene inside my own head. A dark, calm, quiet living room with one maroon sofa, one tall floor lamp, and a rug on the unfinished hardwood floors. Also residing in this cranial flat for all of eternity; the two versions of myself. One leisurely reclining on the aforementioned sofa, and the other nervously pacing the floor before the first.
The me in repose is the calmest version of my self. She is optimistic, sweet, quiet and is sometimes holding my cat, Romeo. The other, perpetually in motion, is representative of my tense self. Violently distressed, she is suspicious, emotive, loud and very typically a sweating wreck. On the other hand, the couch-me keeps me in bed too long and the sweaty-me is the only reason I get anything done. You learn to take the good with the bad.
As I understand, this is quite normal and even boring to the greater population. But I'm sure they do things that they find to be odd, remarkable or even magnificent that I do without thinking. So what's fair is fair; you write about your mundane thing, I'll write about mine.
These moods are not common, I certainly cannot count on them, but the most common theme between them all? Relationships. I don't mean romantically, not necessarily, anyway. I mean any relationship. And, more often than not, I do not find myself terribly vexed by the notion of spending my life without a lover, but evermore disturbed by the thought of losing a friend, drifting further apart, being mistreated by one, etc... Ask any woman worth her salt; a break up between her and her best friend will inevitably be worse than one with her and her romantic partner. Who will I daydream about going on silly little day adventures with now?
It seems to me that I should take the advice of my own harsh, logical thoughts and "get over it already". But I'm not certain I would if I even could. Feeling is nice, every once in a while. Especially for something I care about so much; my friends/family. They get all of my heart, which, to say the least, will always be risky. It will also always be worth it. And so continue the wild mood swings.
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