Quick Lunchtime Thought: different lifestyles

 I try to live my life with purpose. I go about my days trying to do the least amount of harm to others / the planet while trying not to completely compromise my own happiness / contentedness / safety. And if I do some good on top of that - I am victorious. 

This sounds wonderful, but really it only works because others do not live the same way.

Don't get me wrong; I am well aware that I am not the first one to consider this way of life, nor shall I be the last. I just mean that there are plenty who do not subscribe to this lifestyle. It brings me back to a conversation I had with a dear friend while working at the framing studio.

K and I were discussing sociopaths (I was suggesting that I might be one due to the fact that I don't nose around / "care" the way some others do). He assured me I am not one. He went on to tell me that sociopaths weren't all bad. Intrigued, I listened on.

K's proposition was that without sociopaths, we would not have a number of our "big successes"; we would lack (maybe entirely) in our big CEO population. We would have far less competition. Less selfishness. Less drive. We would have less people "knowing" how special and important they were and thus we would not have gone on to progress as much, as a society.

Please know that I am butchering his words (bad memory, not bad intent, I promise you), but not his general thesis.

I am thinking of this today because if the population were made of only a bunch of quiet hippies (such as myself), keeping to themselves, minding their own business, if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-ing their way through life, we would not have some of our most brilliant minds and finds. We would have so much less curiosity. Less theory. Less science. Less discovery. As much as I cringe to admit it, I would have likely been a quiet, Christian housewife with (at least) nine screaming children. 

Today I would like to (somewhat) publicly thank each and every brilliant mind, curious scientist and driven sociopath of the world. You folks make everything sparkle in a way I would never know how to. 

You make it possible for people like me to live the way that I feel I must. 

Censorship v. Self-Control

 I have had at least fifteen conversations about censorship recently, so I guess I can blog about it today.

I will say my personal relationship with censorship has been: I should practice it. I was told by my mother to behave (don't swear at your sister). I was told by my bosses (essentially) to behave (don't swear at your customer). And after numerous occasions where I deeply offended friends while practicing what I was convinced was scathing wit (but was really just scathing), I learned to behave around them, too.

What I find funny is that the people who don't like censorship will very often be the same people who get upset/disgusted when the younger generation sticks up/fights/pickets for something they truly believe in. And before you get too excited, censorship fans: I have the same to say about your behaviors (just flipped). We're all a little hypocritical and - at some point - censorship is in the eye of the beholder. It is subjective. It is not definitive. Yes, the definition is definitive:

cen·sorship

/ˈsensərSHip/

noun

1. 1.

   the suppression or prohibition of any parts of books, films, news, etc. that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security.

But who is to say what is to be considered "obscene"? Or better yet: "politically unacceptable"? I am nearly certain that the non-censors only mean that they are the way they are and they don't care to consider others throughout the interim. They will tell you to get over it/relax/stop being so sensitive. Meanwhile, once the censor-fans hear this blatant dismissal and/or inconsiderate behavior, they will tell the nons where to shove it. And then the nons will get offended/be dreadfully uncomfortable/touche'd and retaliate with more non-censored language. 

I can't help but sit on the fence and observe both sides with binoculars. Curious.

Once again I believe "balance" to be the answer here. Here's my current opinion on the matter:

    Follow the Golden Rule when possible / while not putting yourself/others in dangerous pinches. 

    Don't go out of your way to be a dick. (Jesus, who is this behavior really for?)

    Pick your battles.

    Learn to take a joke (and learn to stick up for yourself)

    NOT EVERYTHING IS A BIG DEAL. AND I'M SAYING THIS EQUALLY TO BOTH PARTIES.

And, finally: You simply can't please everyone. And if you try not to offend anyone, you will eventually (at the latest) offend a very large group / an individual you truly care about. 

What is it, going to kill you to not say those offensive things you say on principal, alone? Shock-Comedy died in the 90's. And what about you, there, fighting the urge to tell us you're deeply offended at what you suddenly decided is a "social injustice"; Just going to fester and eat away at your kidneys, is it? Now I know it is a slippery slope. I also know that social media is an exacerbator (<-- think I made that up). I also know that me getting frustrated at all of this - ironically - will likely pop me into being one of the aforementioned fence-siders. *Sigh* I just think that a lot of what the non-censors consider "censorship" is what I would consider "having manners", "being polite" or "practicing self-control". Honestly, how hard is it to try for others here and there? I do it nearly every day.

As with most other things: I think the best any of us can do is try. Keep an open mind, accept what you choose to, duke it out over what's worth your dukes. Be genuine. Do research. Ask questions. Care. And for God's sake; practice balance. 

...back to work.

Haunted Houses

 I suppose you just never know until you're in it, but:

What do you suppose it would take for you to leave the home you just bought once you had suspicion of it being haunted?

We have all read the books and seen the films; a family (two parents and at least one child... very typically a sacrificial dog) moves into a new town. They buy that vacant house. For what price, did you say? Holy cannoli, what a deal!! And so close to the school? Wow, how could they afford not to take it?

The kid gets excited to see his room, the parents stand side by side, arms around each other. Smiling at their child's precious antics as he calls the family dog to follow him upstairs. "C'mon, Roscoe! Last one there is a rotten egg!" (Bark, bark!) 

Aw. 

So regular. Until... 
Crrrreeeek... - "It's just the house settling. It's an old house, honey."
"Oh I thought I left the keys over there... Ugh, getting older is tough!"
BANGBANGBANG - "That's just the neighbor kid pulling a prank; what a big silly!"
"Huh. All the food is rotten."
"That's strange; I don't recall opening each and every cabinet. Probably our kid, for some reason."
"Mommy, Daddy; there's a MAN in my closet!!"
"There's BLOOD IN THE BATHTUB, JON!"
"I just haven't been feeling myself lately..."

Now. I understand the need to scream at the television at the family's short-sightedness upon the very first sign of trouble. Of course you know better. You didn't just finish setting up the living room (just the way you like it). Plus, you did see the title of this film: Something Wicked & Dangerous in the New House We Just Bought. I would hope you would have seen this coming. 

My question is: What would it take for you? I mean obviously there's the financial loss to take into consideration. But what's money worth if you're possessed the whole time you get to spend it? Would you even get the same thrill after leaving TJMaxx with a new planter at that point? It is, for sure, an enormous bummer; having to leave the giant money-eater you just spent your life savings on. But isn't it a little more cruel to think that your story would end there? 

"Such a shame. They spent their entire life saving for that house and it ate and killed them."

I am almost certain I would rather survive to tell the tale of how I escaped the house victorious and - against all odds - built my family and myself back up from the ashes like a phoenix. Surely at that point everything you have tastes so much sweeter by comparison. Then you really did it. Not everyone could survive a haunting, you know. I would wear that badge proudly on my chest until I became that old relative at family gatherings. 

"Ugh, Grandma's had too much sherry again."
"Yep, off she goes."
"I ReMeMbEr WhEn I sUrViVeD GHOSTS."

I know the name of the game is to consider your family in the decision-making; even if you don't feel like being there, Junior did always want a backyard to play in. And he's only losing a couple hours of sleep a week over this. No more than a regular child with a late-night pixie-stick habit, really.
But isn't that just it? Wouldn't you want to keep that kid away from harm? The world is already dangerous enough and you're going to roll the dice on demons inside of your home? Perhaps it is just that the parents do not want to believe their child. Which I get. I was afraid of everything when I was little (still am). If it had been up to me, my mother, father, sister and I would have been zipping from this house to that like traveling salesmen.

This one had bugs I didn't care for in the garden. 
This one's rooms were too dark.
These curtains gave me a start.
I saw an ant inside.
I just feel like there are goblins here.  

I'm honestly surprised I lived to tell that tale. With OR without hauntings. My poor mother.

I do hope that you are able to safely exit the house (safely and fully intact), should this scenario ever arise for you.

Anyway. Just thinking.