Stalemate

I drew The Empress, inverted.

I’m referring, of course, to the Tarot. Admittedly, I know very little about it, and it could be argued that perhaps I shouldn’t be messing with something so mystical and mysterious if it is, in fact, so foreign to me. However! I believe in my mother, my sister and witches of the like who subscribe to the Tarot. And I do hold some kind of guiding merit in it, so the way I see it, as long as I don’t push it on anyone else, selling it as something I am well-versed in as I do, I do not suspect much harm will come from it.

Now, allow me to explain, for those of you who are on my level of understanding; The Empress card essentially stands for creation, abundance and other mother-earth-like properties. When any card you draw is inverted, it stands for the opposite properties that it normally would represent when upright. And so, allegedly, I drew the news that I had reached a stalemate in my creativity. Naturally, being a self-proclaimed writer, I am no stranger to the ceasing of creative flow, the inability to end a piece; writer’s block. However it also, evidently represents dependance on others. Which I don’t like.

I have lived depending on others and not and I certainly prefer the latter. It is nice to know you have people you can count on, but making a habit of relying so heavily on them? I would really rather not. Perhaps this means that I am getting too comfortable in depending on B, my live-in love, due to the fact that he is so lovely and certainly makes it easy to ask for favors. I hope this was my opportunity to catch my faux-pas before it became a legitimate problem, because of all my relationships, there are three that I consider far too important to put stress on. My relationship with him is certainly one of them.

I will say, additionally, that drawing this card has given me the kick in the pants to get going on my writing project again (and finish it! *fist pump*). It is as if this card was some otherworldly witch energy calling me out on being a schlub and allowing my creative duties and accomplishments to wither. Leaving me to retort with an “Oh yeah??” of finishing my piece.

Thank you, Tarot!

In other news, I have since drawn another card, leading me to believe the actual creative block the original card was alluding to was that of the occupational. You see, the season is almost over and, as such, I am in a very interesting spot that I have never before been in. I am not quite out of this job, but am not quite within the two-weeks-notice realm. There is too much time left at this job to hand my resume into another, and yet before I know it, I will have no source of income. A thought, naturally, that scares the bejeezus out of me. So! I have been applying much more lazily and casually than I normally would and, as such, it appears I have made a lapse in creative judgement.

Something will work out (it has to). There must just be a job that I am not thinking of, for some reason or another, that I would be able to do and/or just love. Hopefully both.