Food Pantry

I was pulling into the local discount bread store when I saw a gorgeous GTO parked in the lot. I caught myself thinking 'What is a car like that doing in a lot like this? Surely they do well enough to afford regular people bread'.

There are a few things off with this knee-jerk reaction, one of them being that this was my knee-jerk reaction.

First of all, it's not like there's a discount bread store law that says that you have to be low-income in order to participate in their discounted grainy goodness. Also, maybe this person always cheaps out on bread and that is how they can afford this beaut. It's not like I'm driving Pa's old, busted up station wagon over here, and part of the reason why I have the car that I have is because I cheap out on bread. And other things. (Things that make sense to "cheap out" on, anyway, not everything. I believe sometimes it is more of a sound decision to consider the long-term investment. Take cars, for example.) You have a sizable financial goal? Then you do what you must to achieve it. You tighten your belt, cut corners and so on. Also - and I cannot stress this enough - it is absolutely none of my business where someone else shops; this person is not harming anyone by choosing to buy a decent vehicle and arguably indecent bread.

I realized that this attitude was ingrained (grain, ha) into my thought process from a young age. Parents, teachers, just adults, really, making commentary that I subconsciously picked up on here and there. For example: when my mother and I would suit up to go to the food pantry and she would say something like "Don't wear anything too nice". Obviously it is already a little odd that she was treating this like a sting operation, but mostly it was that underlying guilt that she had from possibly not deserving this assistance. From thinking things like "well maybe if I just worked harder" or "maybe if I didn't spend money on [insert example]". Whatever it sprung from, it sprung forth unto me. It didn't take long for my subconscious to kick in and decide that I ought constantly prove that I am not pulling wool over the food pantry's eyes. Which, of course, is entirely relatable to the aforementioned discount bread store debacle.

Do I even care about that person? Of course not. God knows I am typically the only one in a crowd not asking about the other person's trip to Vancouver. "Oh, yeah! How'd that go??" I couldn't possibly contain my excitement. PLEASE hurry up and tell me EVERYTHING.

So if it's none of my business and I don't care, then I think it's probably time to work on this habit and drop it like it's hot.

Why must we feel so guilty about getting a leg-up? Why must we wait until the problem is so enormous that the only possible solution is to "go to the food pantry"? "Well, I could have just made a quick trip this way earlier on in the year. That would have afforded me the cash amount that I needed to pay that electric bill. Then I would not have had to go back to the pantry again. But instead I bought everything at a grocery store, went a dollar and ten cents overdrawn, was hit with overdraft fees, got denied for a small loan, got depressed, sold my plasma for alcohol and am now homeless and currently residing in the dumpster just outside the Good Shepherd. Now I have to go to the food pantry to survive!"

I mean, sure, there are those people who take advantage of the system (most of which are in my family; my apologies to the good state of Maine on their behalf), but for the most part, the people who rely on consistent "help" are the people who simply should not have waited so long to ask for it in the first place. I really love the ideas of food pantries and subsidized housing, etc... but I just think we could take better advantage of them without abusing them.

...And all from going to the damned bread store.