Who Hired this Crew?

We have all likely felt that - at one point or another - we have gotten nudged into doing more work than what we were getting paid for. Sometimes we say "oh, heck, what's one more thing? We're all a team, right?" and sometimes we say "nice try, but that's not my job." As individuals, we may lean one way more often than the other. It may have something to do with our upbringing, our shortcomings and insecurities, our ages, etc... For example, I was much more willing to help when I had only begun my work-life. I was a young pup, not yet brow-beaten into epiphany. I knew not of the majority's intentions; of the human condition; of just how astounding one's ability to take advantage of another's was. Laziness and entitlement. It'll get you every time.

It is one thing to deal with these instances when you are getting paid (because at least, in those moments, you are getting paid), it is another animal entirely to deal with such high expectations in your every day life. (For free!) For starters, the outside world is much less of a controlled area, and as such, you might feel as though there are no spaces that are safe from expectation. Nowhere you can relax. Nowhere to run to, baby; nowhere to hide. And if you have no place to relax, you may as well just hop into the nearest loony bin, as this would be no way to live. It's akin to feeling frustrated at school when you are a child as opposed to feeling frustrated/downtrodden at home. What an ugly, awfully stressful existence. 

You MUST have a place/time that you can count on (without falter!) in which you can truly
R   E   L   A   X   .   .   .

Which, incidentally, is reason number six-hundred-and-forty-two on why I refuse to have children. 

At any rate, I bring all of this up because lately (and by "lately" I mean "within the last five to seven years") ... (funny; when I was younger, "lately" meant "at a maximum of five minutes ago") I have been truly pondering on the prospect of being held responsible. More specifically about how people will hold me responsible to certain things they shouldn't. Don't count on me to remind you to pay your bills - you're my neighbor. You are not my responsibility. If anything, I should take on this responsibility only to intentionally "forget" it so that you are, eventually, someone else's neighbor. On such occasion, I find myself uttering the phrase "...when did it become my job??".

For example: when did it become my job to be the only polite person within a thousand-mile radius? I feel as though others (as a mass) have come to expect certain things of me. Amongst such expectations is that I perpetually remain in a "good mood"/have a "positive attitude". How unreasonable for a human. Or to always be helpful. Patient. Kind, even to strangers. And at a certain point (and I am certain I could write a decently sized blog about this alone), you much decide if you should continue to be polite/patient/kind to strangers, or be polite/patient/kind to yourself. To stand up strong on your own behalf. And no one can draw that line but you. Which is precisely why it makes close to no sense why "everyone else" are the ones with the aforementioned expectations. What do they know about you? And even so, who are they to draw lines on your behalf? Positively useless. Albeit ironic and humorous. 

These high standards are fine to have for yourself, I feel, and even healthy to set personal goals with ("I am going to focus on being patient today"). And, yes, we must hold the people closest to us accountable or decide that they are no good to be around (i.e. toxic people). However, once you hold someone else more accountable/to higher standards than yourself? It becomes a bit dicey. 

Do not expect anything from me that you would not expect from yourself, for starters. And after that, consider the fact that we may be different people with different strengths (and, as such, different weaknesses). Then, on the one day that I say "yeah, I can do that for ya", maybe just take that as face-value and understand that I probably only mean "yeah, I can do that for ya today/now/this one time". Or when I say "let me know if you need anything", I do not necessarily mean "Tell me absolutely every time there is a task you feel should be accomplished, but are too lazy to do so yourself, and I will jump at the opportunity. Without hesitation, question or argument". While you're at it, perhaps you should stop assuming that: simply because I am not bitching throughout the entire duration of a task, that does not necessarily mean that I am enjoying myself and/or that I cannot contain my excitement until I "get to do it again" for you.