Wild Mood Swings

Whether you know this or not, I am attempting to refer to a the Cure CD with this blog title. (Check it out if you haven't, it's a good'n.)

I am, in my natural state, fairly even-keeled. My mother, not one to casually project compliments of this nature, once told me that I have the patience of a monk. Am I stressed and anxious on the inside? Probably. But that's more of a quiet storm, one that does not often effect my mood. As such, it comes as a great shock to me when I actually feel something and have what I refer to as a "mood". When I experience one of these "moods", I am transported to a now-familiar scene inside my own head. A dark, calm, quiet living room with one maroon sofa, one tall floor lamp, and a rug on the unfinished hardwood floors. Also residing in this cranial flat for all of eternity; the two versions of myself. One leisurely reclining on the aforementioned sofa, and the other nervously pacing the floor before the first.

The me in repose is the calmest version of my self. She is optimistic, sweet, quiet and is sometimes holding my cat, Romeo. The other, perpetually in motion, is representative of my tense self. Violently distressed, she is suspicious, emotive, loud and very typically a sweating wreck. On the other hand, the couch-me keeps me in bed too long and the sweaty-me is the only reason I get anything done. You learn to take the good with the bad.

As I understand, this is quite normal and even boring to the greater population. But I'm sure they do things that they find to be odd, remarkable or even magnificent that I do without thinking. So what's fair is fair; you write about your mundane thing, I'll write about mine.

These moods are not common, I certainly cannot count on them, but the most common theme between them all? Relationships. I don't mean romantically, not necessarily, anyway. I mean any relationship. And, more often than not, I do not find myself terribly vexed by the notion of spending my life without a lover, but evermore disturbed by the thought of losing a friend, drifting further apart, being mistreated by one, etc... Ask any woman worth her salt; a break up between her and her best friend will inevitably be worse than one with her and her romantic partner. Who will I daydream about going on silly little day adventures with now?

It seems to me that I should take the advice of my own harsh, logical thoughts and "get over it already". But I'm not certain I would if I even could. Feeling is nice, every once in a while. Especially for something I care about so much; my friends/family. They get all of my heart, which, to say the least, will always be risky. It will also always be worth it. And so continue the wild mood swings.