I think I took the fact that I was raised with a television for granted.
Don't get me wrong; there was no shortage of appreciation for what I had (from cable, to a house, to the food I consumed), I just mean purely from a social standpoint. I grew up learning the dialogue to Seinfeld, impersonating Ace Ventura's catch phrases and quoting nearly every David Spade one-liner. Where did this get me? No place of impressive rank, of course (you can't get nominated for being the best copycat of once-brilliant wit). But it did train me to be the funny one. It was like comedy pre-school; the first lesson being that you love making people laugh. Lesson two: you might have to embarrass yourself from time to time in order to do so. Last but not least; you learn why the things on your favorite sitcom are funny and you just tailor the details to your audience. This was great! I had discovered the formula! I unintentionally made friends with this? And I didn't even have to be good-looking or smart? I just had to bring up Friends and people would like me? Oh, man. FAN-TAS-TIC.
And so began my foundation for socialization. I no longer needed outdoor activity and incredible life experience; I had film to discuss. It worked, sure, but it was all I knew. Twenty-something years later, it is still all I know (put all my eggs in the basket), and something terrifying has happened; I realized this year that...
I no longer watch TV.
When I say I no longer watch TV, that is not to say that I have began the latest boycott or have in any way sworn it off, no. All I mean is that I just don't happen to watch it. Like most other things in my life, my relationship with this activity is very passive. I have only on incredibly rare occasion been the person to purposefully carve out a chunk of time to dedicate myself to sitting in front of the boob-tube (possibly my least favorite and most distracting term for it). My mother, sister, father all loved television and were all older than me, so it felt like there was simply no use in making an attempt to elbow my way in. You guys watch what you want. I'll be over here drawing.
As I grew up and experienced some strange living situations, I never really had to buy a TV (someone always had one already, and having two of them in a shabby apartment hardly seemed the thing to do). By the time I lived on my own I had better things to focus on (working multiple jobs, remembering to eat, sleeping when I could). I have moved so many times and have always seemed to have gotten too terribly distracted, which resulted, of course, in never purchasing a television.
Now that I am relaxed, back in town and - for the first time in about one hundred years - am working part-time, I have time on my hands! It is only now that I am recognizing how people can fall so dependent on these entertaining screens. Whether it's cable, Netflix, YouTube; I get it. It's nice to have something to look at. Or even have playing melodically in the background as you are making dinner or cleaning. I will also say, however, that it is quite the danger; good luck getting anything done, ever. Your time flies by faster, you stay up later, before you know it you're exhausted and you have nothing to wear to work because you have't done laundry in three weeks. Aren't you so glad you caught that Will & Grace rerun marathon??
It's one thing living without wi-fi and a television when you are keeping your head down and not being terribly social. It is another entirely once you make the time to catch up with one of your friends.
"You don't have wi-fi?"
"So... you haven't caught the latest Game of Thrones."
"What do you do all day?"
Well, read, for starters. And everything else adults used to do, I suppose. It is awfully nice to be able to relax on purpose without anything really distracting you or taking away from it. And this lifestyle teaches a person to be creative when finding alternative activities, and it promotes peace and gratitude for the simple pleasure of quiet down time. My place is clean, meals are prepped, laundry is always done... The drawback? Congratulations! You now have nothing to talk to your pals about. You may try to pull out a rusty punchline from an old nineties sitcom - y'know, from when you actually watched TV - but don't expect that dusty Just Shoot Me reference to land. You'll have much better luck with something from Rick & Morty.
Thursday, September 6, 2018
Age: For Consideration
It is as if I have forgotten how old I am.
Is this likely to keep happening? Because it seems unsafe. Last summer I was able to grasp the fact that I was no longer a late-teen/early-twenty-something as I quickly exhausted my ability to recoup after a 50-hour work week (thank you, seasonal restaurant). I had given them great work for a stretch, meanwhile my body eroded into beach sand. I got a fever, I got the flu - the only thing I didn't get was sleep. I was eating better, doing my research on wellness, not going out and drinking/partying, and yet here I was ready to hear my eulogy. Finally I asked my co-worker how she and her friends were able to do this sort of thing and recharge so easily? After all, it wasn't like this was my first time with 50+ hours, at a restaurant or under pressure. Then she gave me my answer:
"...Well, I mean... you are like ten years older than most of us..."
Ah.
Somehow life had gotten away from me, zipped by and the next thing I knew; I was nearly the oldest person sporting a denim apron. She was right! I was old! Not old for this world, of course; the Basilica boasts a Holy 500 years or so. But I was officially at the spot where I would need to give my consideration. I was too old for certain things. Wanna go for a bagel? Sure, I'm good with that. Wanna book a last-minute flight? Sounds great. Wanna feel rested while working more than 40 hours a week, on your feet in a fast-paced, mentally draining customer-service driven job? Now you've gone too far.
Now don't get me wrong - this "for consideration" age is likely different for everyone. Some, God bless them, may never reach this age - forever youthful. I am not one of these "some". So what did I do with that information? Left the seasonal noise to retire to a quiet, mind-meltingly slow-paced office job for the local Chamber of Commerce. Set schedule. No nights or weekends. Holidays off. Days surrounding the holidays off. And the only time I remember being on my feet for long was when I had to make the trek from my ergonomically correct swivel chair to the heated bathroom. It had its nice aspects, but naturally that only lasted until I chose to forget what I had learned entirely and move onto another exciting scenario.
I still have a nice, beautifully calm office environment in the morning, but that was only part-time. So obviously it was only a matter of time before I mucked up the calm in my life by choosing to apply to a retail job where I would be working on my feet all day, get mentally drained by customers and be in the building until about 11pm. I will say that it was necessary for me to fill the gaps. A grown (ish) person cannot expect to live comfortably on part-time alone. Not to mention I would eventually get bored out of my mind, which would lead to brain fizzles. Plus this retail job really seems different from the others I have worked at. It's like I've completed the taxing office and customer service side of things and now I get to enjoy dessert. It will keep me out of trouble. The paychecks will be nice. But how long will it be until I ask a co-worker why I'm so tired again?
Something for consideration.
Is this likely to keep happening? Because it seems unsafe. Last summer I was able to grasp the fact that I was no longer a late-teen/early-twenty-something as I quickly exhausted my ability to recoup after a 50-hour work week (thank you, seasonal restaurant). I had given them great work for a stretch, meanwhile my body eroded into beach sand. I got a fever, I got the flu - the only thing I didn't get was sleep. I was eating better, doing my research on wellness, not going out and drinking/partying, and yet here I was ready to hear my eulogy. Finally I asked my co-worker how she and her friends were able to do this sort of thing and recharge so easily? After all, it wasn't like this was my first time with 50+ hours, at a restaurant or under pressure. Then she gave me my answer:
"...Well, I mean... you are like ten years older than most of us..."
Ah.
Somehow life had gotten away from me, zipped by and the next thing I knew; I was nearly the oldest person sporting a denim apron. She was right! I was old! Not old for this world, of course; the Basilica boasts a Holy 500 years or so. But I was officially at the spot where I would need to give my consideration. I was too old for certain things. Wanna go for a bagel? Sure, I'm good with that. Wanna book a last-minute flight? Sounds great. Wanna feel rested while working more than 40 hours a week, on your feet in a fast-paced, mentally draining customer-service driven job? Now you've gone too far.
Now don't get me wrong - this "for consideration" age is likely different for everyone. Some, God bless them, may never reach this age - forever youthful. I am not one of these "some". So what did I do with that information? Left the seasonal noise to retire to a quiet, mind-meltingly slow-paced office job for the local Chamber of Commerce. Set schedule. No nights or weekends. Holidays off. Days surrounding the holidays off. And the only time I remember being on my feet for long was when I had to make the trek from my ergonomically correct swivel chair to the heated bathroom. It had its nice aspects, but naturally that only lasted until I chose to forget what I had learned entirely and move onto another exciting scenario.
I still have a nice, beautifully calm office environment in the morning, but that was only part-time. So obviously it was only a matter of time before I mucked up the calm in my life by choosing to apply to a retail job where I would be working on my feet all day, get mentally drained by customers and be in the building until about 11pm. I will say that it was necessary for me to fill the gaps. A grown (ish) person cannot expect to live comfortably on part-time alone. Not to mention I would eventually get bored out of my mind, which would lead to brain fizzles. Plus this retail job really seems different from the others I have worked at. It's like I've completed the taxing office and customer service side of things and now I get to enjoy dessert. It will keep me out of trouble. The paychecks will be nice. But how long will it be until I ask a co-worker why I'm so tired again?
Something for consideration.
Thursday, August 9, 2018
August 2018
I cannot believe it is the last official month of summer.
I have certainly packed enough fun into this one; my past summers pale in comparison. As the cold days kick in, I will miss being comfortable outdoors. And the fun events that ensue, without a doubt. Alas, summer's end is simply another aspect that makes the season seem like such a special treat.
This year's season will be remembered as many things; one in particular will be how I fell back into painting. The positive, peaceful me in my head is meditating with a knowing smile at this while the other one rolls her eyes and huffs. Painting will likely be a perpetual in-and-out situation for me. So be it. Since I have started it up again, one of my beautiful downtown friends has invited me to an event soon to display said creations! What fun. Of course, I'll have the option of selling these pieces, but I have (thus far) found that it is an unlikely event. Paintings are just too expensive for the marketplace audience. This scenario I have been invited to will be closer to a farmer's market than a gala. People come to such things with enough cash to cover three beets and an overpriced can of homemade salsa, not a 37 x 27 acrylic on canvas. I am just excited to be a part of it - and this art community is simply the best, so it will be great to hang out/be around them.
While my venture for a writing side-gig does not go entirely unanswered, it hangs in the air like a cobweb on a cathedral ceiling. So it will be quite nice to be able to focus on something else creative while I keep up the search. Print off some more "Love Lexx Studios" business cards, perhaps get some prints... sometimes the fun is in the little details.
I have certainly packed enough fun into this one; my past summers pale in comparison. As the cold days kick in, I will miss being comfortable outdoors. And the fun events that ensue, without a doubt. Alas, summer's end is simply another aspect that makes the season seem like such a special treat.
This year's season will be remembered as many things; one in particular will be how I fell back into painting. The positive, peaceful me in my head is meditating with a knowing smile at this while the other one rolls her eyes and huffs. Painting will likely be a perpetual in-and-out situation for me. So be it. Since I have started it up again, one of my beautiful downtown friends has invited me to an event soon to display said creations! What fun. Of course, I'll have the option of selling these pieces, but I have (thus far) found that it is an unlikely event. Paintings are just too expensive for the marketplace audience. This scenario I have been invited to will be closer to a farmer's market than a gala. People come to such things with enough cash to cover three beets and an overpriced can of homemade salsa, not a 37 x 27 acrylic on canvas. I am just excited to be a part of it - and this art community is simply the best, so it will be great to hang out/be around them.
While my venture for a writing side-gig does not go entirely unanswered, it hangs in the air like a cobweb on a cathedral ceiling. So it will be quite nice to be able to focus on something else creative while I keep up the search. Print off some more "Love Lexx Studios" business cards, perhaps get some prints... sometimes the fun is in the little details.
Wild Mood Swings
Whether you know this or not, I am attempting to refer to a the Cure CD with this blog title. (Check it out if you haven't, it's a good'n.)
I am, in my natural state, fairly even-keeled. My mother, not one to casually project compliments of this nature, once told me that I have the patience of a monk. Am I stressed and anxious on the inside? Probably. But that's more of a quiet storm, one that does not often effect my mood. As such, it comes as a great shock to me when I actually feel something and have what I refer to as a "mood". When I experience one of these "moods", I am transported to a now-familiar scene inside my own head. A dark, calm, quiet living room with one maroon sofa, one tall floor lamp, and a rug on the unfinished hardwood floors. Also residing in this cranial flat for all of eternity; the two versions of myself. One leisurely reclining on the aforementioned sofa, and the other nervously pacing the floor before the first.
The me in repose is the calmest version of my self. She is optimistic, sweet, quiet and is sometimes holding my cat, Romeo. The other, perpetually in motion, is representative of my tense self. Violently distressed, she is suspicious, emotive, loud and very typically a sweating wreck. On the other hand, the couch-me keeps me in bed too long and the sweaty-me is the only reason I get anything done. You learn to take the good with the bad.
As I understand, this is quite normal and even boring to the greater population. But I'm sure they do things that they find to be odd, remarkable or even magnificent that I do without thinking. So what's fair is fair; you write about your mundane thing, I'll write about mine.
These moods are not common, I certainly cannot count on them, but the most common theme between them all? Relationships. I don't mean romantically, not necessarily, anyway. I mean any relationship. And, more often than not, I do not find myself terribly vexed by the notion of spending my life without a lover, but evermore disturbed by the thought of losing a friend, drifting further apart, being mistreated by one, etc... Ask any woman worth her salt; a break up between her and her best friend will inevitably be worse than one with her and her romantic partner. Who will I daydream about going on silly little day adventures with now?
It seems to me that I should take the advice of my own harsh, logical thoughts and "get over it already". But I'm not certain I would if I even could. Feeling is nice, every once in a while. Especially for something I care about so much; my friends/family. They get all of my heart, which, to say the least, will always be risky. It will also always be worth it. And so continue the wild mood swings.
I am, in my natural state, fairly even-keeled. My mother, not one to casually project compliments of this nature, once told me that I have the patience of a monk. Am I stressed and anxious on the inside? Probably. But that's more of a quiet storm, one that does not often effect my mood. As such, it comes as a great shock to me when I actually feel something and have what I refer to as a "mood". When I experience one of these "moods", I am transported to a now-familiar scene inside my own head. A dark, calm, quiet living room with one maroon sofa, one tall floor lamp, and a rug on the unfinished hardwood floors. Also residing in this cranial flat for all of eternity; the two versions of myself. One leisurely reclining on the aforementioned sofa, and the other nervously pacing the floor before the first.
The me in repose is the calmest version of my self. She is optimistic, sweet, quiet and is sometimes holding my cat, Romeo. The other, perpetually in motion, is representative of my tense self. Violently distressed, she is suspicious, emotive, loud and very typically a sweating wreck. On the other hand, the couch-me keeps me in bed too long and the sweaty-me is the only reason I get anything done. You learn to take the good with the bad.
As I understand, this is quite normal and even boring to the greater population. But I'm sure they do things that they find to be odd, remarkable or even magnificent that I do without thinking. So what's fair is fair; you write about your mundane thing, I'll write about mine.
These moods are not common, I certainly cannot count on them, but the most common theme between them all? Relationships. I don't mean romantically, not necessarily, anyway. I mean any relationship. And, more often than not, I do not find myself terribly vexed by the notion of spending my life without a lover, but evermore disturbed by the thought of losing a friend, drifting further apart, being mistreated by one, etc... Ask any woman worth her salt; a break up between her and her best friend will inevitably be worse than one with her and her romantic partner. Who will I daydream about going on silly little day adventures with now?
It seems to me that I should take the advice of my own harsh, logical thoughts and "get over it already". But I'm not certain I would if I even could. Feeling is nice, every once in a while. Especially for something I care about so much; my friends/family. They get all of my heart, which, to say the least, will always be risky. It will also always be worth it. And so continue the wild mood swings.
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Low-Stress Diet
In today's world - and quite possibly every other one - stress is inevitable. But not just every now and again; it seems as though it is always an appropriate time to be riddled with anxiety and fret. We have been told that this is simply the way of life, and we had better accept it/not fight it or - you guessed it - we'll be even more stressed out. I feel as though this is not 100% accurate.
Naturally, there are some of us who just appear to be more uptight more often; these incredibly shake-able individuals, it seems, are doomed to a life of anxiety. I am not confidant enough in my life-coaching abilities to say whether or not this is true. What I will say is: although I may not stress as easily over the typical things the masses do, I do stress out quite a bit over quite a few things that the masses may find to be of the mundane persuasion. Does this mean I have phobias? Am I destined to be the real-life version of Bill Murray in What About Bob?? Of course I am not trained in these topics, and so cannot be sure, although it seems as if I am starting to get a handle on it. So what is it, have I taken Dr. Leo Marvin's advice? Am I implementing the latest version of Baby Steps? In a way, yes.
I have made the conscious decision to take things a little more easily, to not expect too much of myself. To make and keep goals and ambitions, while keeping things as realistic as possible. Baby steps down the stairs.
These things are sometimes easier said than done, and naturally there are extraneous circumstances, but if you just nail down a few things, this smoothness will more often than not be your end result.
Don't double-book yourself; whatever this means to you, just try not to do it. If you get stressed easily when you make plans after work because you are worried you might have to stay late, or maybe the traffic will be a nightmare when you are released, or maybe you get very tired during work (to the point where you consistently just need to go straight home and sleep immediately), just don't rely on making plans after work. This will not only save your evening, it will also save your day at work.
Be realistic; I used to think that if someone called you "ambitious", it was meant as a compliment. In reality, being ambitious could be synonymous with taking on way too much - and in doing so, it is likely that you be unable to meet deadlines and/or not be able to give 100% on anything. As for scheduling, if you have never successfully gotten from your home to the destination in question in 20 minutes, don't plan to be there in 20 minutes. If ever in doubt? Just leave your starting point early. Even just a few minutes could make a huge difference. You will have a calmer commute and not fret so much over the traffic lights/traffic/etc... and maybe you'll just be super early to the hangout destination.
Be prepared/Be resourceful; it is my belief that everyone is at least one of these two. I try to be both as much as possible. Let's say that you do leave ten minutes early and arrive ten minutes (or more) early to your destination. If you are prepared? You will have a charged phone, great book, your laptop, favorite CD, some paperwork... something to occupy your mind and time as you await your pal. If you're resourceful? You will figure out a new article/game to check out on your phone, think of fun things to do/discuss with the person you are meeting with, better collect yourself, etc.
Create/Keep Healthy Surroundings; every person is essentially a human myna bird. The minute you surround yourself with negative people, negative music, negative media, you create a negative self. Don't let this happen to you (it is a slippery slope). Be proactive about spending your time with the people you love the most and make you feel the best. Listen to music that propels you into positivity. Even something as seemingly small as what you eat can make an enormous impact. Everything will not always be perfect, but the more things you make an effort to keep harmonious, the more harmonious you will be.
It it likely stressers will find you throughout your day-to-day, and such things simply cannot be helped. So why wouldn't you give your best efforts to start your day as stress-free as possible and control what you can in order to keep it that way?
Naturally, there are some of us who just appear to be more uptight more often; these incredibly shake-able individuals, it seems, are doomed to a life of anxiety. I am not confidant enough in my life-coaching abilities to say whether or not this is true. What I will say is: although I may not stress as easily over the typical things the masses do, I do stress out quite a bit over quite a few things that the masses may find to be of the mundane persuasion. Does this mean I have phobias? Am I destined to be the real-life version of Bill Murray in What About Bob?? Of course I am not trained in these topics, and so cannot be sure, although it seems as if I am starting to get a handle on it. So what is it, have I taken Dr. Leo Marvin's advice? Am I implementing the latest version of Baby Steps? In a way, yes.
I have made the conscious decision to take things a little more easily, to not expect too much of myself. To make and keep goals and ambitions, while keeping things as realistic as possible. Baby steps down the stairs.
These things are sometimes easier said than done, and naturally there are extraneous circumstances, but if you just nail down a few things, this smoothness will more often than not be your end result.
Don't double-book yourself; whatever this means to you, just try not to do it. If you get stressed easily when you make plans after work because you are worried you might have to stay late, or maybe the traffic will be a nightmare when you are released, or maybe you get very tired during work (to the point where you consistently just need to go straight home and sleep immediately), just don't rely on making plans after work. This will not only save your evening, it will also save your day at work.
Be realistic; I used to think that if someone called you "ambitious", it was meant as a compliment. In reality, being ambitious could be synonymous with taking on way too much - and in doing so, it is likely that you be unable to meet deadlines and/or not be able to give 100% on anything. As for scheduling, if you have never successfully gotten from your home to the destination in question in 20 minutes, don't plan to be there in 20 minutes. If ever in doubt? Just leave your starting point early. Even just a few minutes could make a huge difference. You will have a calmer commute and not fret so much over the traffic lights/traffic/etc... and maybe you'll just be super early to the hangout destination.
Be prepared/Be resourceful; it is my belief that everyone is at least one of these two. I try to be both as much as possible. Let's say that you do leave ten minutes early and arrive ten minutes (or more) early to your destination. If you are prepared? You will have a charged phone, great book, your laptop, favorite CD, some paperwork... something to occupy your mind and time as you await your pal. If you're resourceful? You will figure out a new article/game to check out on your phone, think of fun things to do/discuss with the person you are meeting with, better collect yourself, etc.
Create/Keep Healthy Surroundings; every person is essentially a human myna bird. The minute you surround yourself with negative people, negative music, negative media, you create a negative self. Don't let this happen to you (it is a slippery slope). Be proactive about spending your time with the people you love the most and make you feel the best. Listen to music that propels you into positivity. Even something as seemingly small as what you eat can make an enormous impact. Everything will not always be perfect, but the more things you make an effort to keep harmonious, the more harmonious you will be.
It it likely stressers will find you throughout your day-to-day, and such things simply cannot be helped. So why wouldn't you give your best efforts to start your day as stress-free as possible and control what you can in order to keep it that way?
Friday, July 20, 2018
Reminder
Today's post is going to serve as a quick little reminder to my future-self, and as such, is likely to be a bit less eloquent.
You've just been through a bunch of shit.
You had a killer job with a big-brother bar manager and a cool-aunt GM, but you gave it up in order to help a best friend while simultaneously giving yourself an opportunity to make more money. You got the money, lost the friend.
Around the same time, you lost another close friend because of her toxic choices.
When you moved for friend/opportunity, you moved by yourself and it was stressful and terrifying.
Your boyfriend eventually moved in and after one year, made it apparent that your appearance/other peoples' opinions meant much more to him than you did. That ended (after a very lengthy, stressful process).
You tried a new job, got to do work you really liked for a great, fair boss, and after you left, your co-worker decided to commit defamation of character, not only on you, but on cool boss person.
You moved back in with your mother at 29.
Your "Central Perk" was completely destroyed by an individual filled with malice - dunderhead sheep followers in tow.
You still tried to be social, ended up getting whisked away by another guy to find that he was not sweet & bizarre, but just bizarre, entitled, arrogant and possibly certifiable.
BUT!
You must not forget all of the incredible things that have happened. Your true family. Your art selling, the fact that you love your job here even more than the previous one, you are socializing OTHER places and in doing so have seen beautiful art and comedy and music you would have otherwise never thought to seek, you still have Jasper; the most beautiful, without-a-doubt-coolest car and co-pilot you could ask for. You may be at Ma's under duress right now, but at least you don't have a bunch of money problems and for the first time in your life you have a physical place as a back-up home, in case anything should happen.
Don't forget what you've been through because it serves as a reminder of what you can conquer, how strong you are. But don't let the past bullshit blind you from the incredible stuff right in front of you in current day.
You've just been through a bunch of shit.
You had a killer job with a big-brother bar manager and a cool-aunt GM, but you gave it up in order to help a best friend while simultaneously giving yourself an opportunity to make more money. You got the money, lost the friend.
Around the same time, you lost another close friend because of her toxic choices.
When you moved for friend/opportunity, you moved by yourself and it was stressful and terrifying.
Your boyfriend eventually moved in and after one year, made it apparent that your appearance/other peoples' opinions meant much more to him than you did. That ended (after a very lengthy, stressful process).
You tried a new job, got to do work you really liked for a great, fair boss, and after you left, your co-worker decided to commit defamation of character, not only on you, but on cool boss person.
You moved back in with your mother at 29.
Your "Central Perk" was completely destroyed by an individual filled with malice - dunderhead sheep followers in tow.
You still tried to be social, ended up getting whisked away by another guy to find that he was not sweet & bizarre, but just bizarre, entitled, arrogant and possibly certifiable.
BUT!
You must not forget all of the incredible things that have happened. Your true family. Your art selling, the fact that you love your job here even more than the previous one, you are socializing OTHER places and in doing so have seen beautiful art and comedy and music you would have otherwise never thought to seek, you still have Jasper; the most beautiful, without-a-doubt-coolest car and co-pilot you could ask for. You may be at Ma's under duress right now, but at least you don't have a bunch of money problems and for the first time in your life you have a physical place as a back-up home, in case anything should happen.
Don't forget what you've been through because it serves as a reminder of what you can conquer, how strong you are. But don't let the past bullshit blind you from the incredible stuff right in front of you in current day.
Friday, July 6, 2018
Summer
Every winter I think it's never going to end; the violent winds, the harsh storms, the ice, the bitter temperatures, the agoraphobia that comes with it... And then it happens.
Summer.
Some may argue that summer in Maine is no summer at all, but it is how I know the season best, and as such is completely comfortable to me. The warmer weather (this year, apparently, more than others passed), the shining bright sun, the festivals, concerts and events, the evenings that seem as though they will never end, the faith in humanity that comes with it.
As I notice that my mood and overall outlook improves immensely with every warmer day, I also need to recognize that each summer (so far, ever the realist) is better than the last. One summer is great because I am around a new and exciting circle of friends, doing things I wouldn't normally do, or maybe another is great because of a new love, or maybe because I traveled or got into painting again, or writing, or there's a new job etc... This summer is great because there is a new spin on an old story. My loved ones; friends, family, community, town are surrounding me but in a brand new way. I am anything but bored, although I am quite comfortable. I love how hot it is. I love that friends are getting me out of my comfort zone. So far my favorite things that they have accidentally pushed me to do are going to Portland more casually (oh, you have a gig there? Yeah, I'll drive ya), attending comedy shows/entertainment, and certainly finally taking appropriate advantage of the fact that I live so close to so many natural bodies of water. That, paired with the swing of socialization and "yes-manning" I have fallen back into since getting into town, have made for what I would deem as a very successful summer.
And it could be argued that I still have a whole month to go.
Speaking of "It Could Be Argued", I have officially started writing again (thank God); "It Could Be Argued" and "In Case This Helps" will hopefully be on bookshelves before I die (but if not, not). It is just so incredible to have that writing drive. Nothing feels better. Maybe not even music... (!) But maybe. In addition to that fun creative aspect, I have also began painting again! I am not sure how far it will go, but it's awfully nice being easily inspired by fully immersing myself in the art community through my job, for once. Less pressure that way!
Alas, the coffee shop I am writing in (can you say "cliche"?) is about to close up shop, and so I must away.
This blog feels less poetic and more sloppy, but it'll do for now.
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