Weddings

also an old draft. i'm doing some spring cleaning. 

The following is the unprovoked opinion of a person who very much has never been married. Please disregard. You're probably right. 

As far as weddings go, I think my sister got it right:

   invite few
   no strangers (ordain-a-friend)
   casual after-party/gathering
   let people wear what they want.
   keep "God" out of it, if you are not religious.
   (keep "God" in it, if you are.)

We have all been instilled with this impression of weddings being so stressful and massive and unnatural. Holy scriptures, irrelevant context, strange ritual and rule. People who have never set foot in a church, never laid a hand on a Bible, plan their event to the teeth; priest and all. And, of course, by "their event" I mean "everyone but theirs". After all, every wedding I have attended thus far has felt as though it has been much more for others than the actual bride and groom; the parents. The family. The extended family. Even the vegetarians get to have a plate made up special, just for them.

And before you sling some hokum at me about how it's about everyone else because it's a ceremony to "publicly profess your / each other's love"; why are you doing that? What is that for? Isn't it enough you love each other? Seems a little insecure and un-romantic to me:

"You guys saw that, right?? He said he loved me - we have WITNESSES"

(And photographic evidence!)

Isn't the whole ring thing a kind of public profession? (Professing? Ugh. To profess, i.e.: one's love.) And if you truly find it necessary to do so, why not do it in a way that is more true to you (both of you - if you can't be nice to each other and compromise on this, I am uncertain how well you will fair once the ceremony is over)? And if you'd like to dress up - no shame in the game! Go for it. There are no rules against wearing a princess gown in public. I know. I've done it. And if you're a little insecure about doing so: just ask a friend to follow you both with a camera, taking shots every once in a while. Nobody questions you when someone is taking photos. It's the ultimate "explain-away" for nearly every situation. 

As far as your loved ones' schedules and attires: don't be a dick. For the love of God (since you're pretending to be religious); think of your loved ones! Just a little consideration, please. If they cannot afford 700.00 suits / gowns / shrouds, don't be that guy. While you're at it: if they can't afford that, they probably can't afford a destination wedding in Bali. Not to mention the pain in the ass it is for some to get days off of work for the full length of the festivities. ("Oh, Greg, why don't you stay?? It's Bali!" "Some of us have to work, Cheryl.")

Again: if you are religious (or at least very, very old), this blog will not apply to you. I understand completely why religious people would do it. They have practices. They "relig", if you will. They're doing it every Sunday (or what-have-you), what's one more day? No, I am not questioning their approach - there are so many things I do not understand in this world, some days it is better to simply "drop it" - I do question the non-religious. And most of the people I know are not religious. Ergo: this blog. 

Bottom line: I think people should do what they want on their wedding day, should they have one. (As always: cause no harm, dears.) At the end of the day: it is not for me to understand. It is your day.