Eavesdropping

 It matters not if you are a nosy or not-nosy person; at some point or another you have eavesdropped. 

I have recently done a passive dropping of the eaves in the tattoo parlor I was recently at. Here was the sitch:

the tattooed was sharing with the tattooer that she had gone to Disney... land, world, whatever. And professing her ever-casual feelings of Disney rides and her deep affinity for the Harry Potter world. She went on to describe the HP attraction as I felt my attention span slowly drift away. 

I felt relieved that I was not the tattooer. 

I have absolutely no interest in hearing about an adult's serious admiration and undying allegiance to a children's attraction. Not in this plain-and-tall fashion, anyway. I'll listen to pretty much anything if you can beef it up with a few good punchlines. And I would also have been ever-attentive if it had been a loved one talking. But in my mind I had already decided what kind of person the tattooer - and what kind the tattooed - had been and were. They were not friends or family. One of them was gabbing the way one might at a salon (which is where anything goes because no one's really listening, anyway) and one of them was getting paid to be in very close, quiet, non-hair-drying distance to the first. 

Meanwhile: Today in the cafe:

a: "I'm just like an energetic, chaotic person"

b: "yeah"

a few sips of my espresso later...

a: "I like people who like mushrooms."

b: "well, mushrooms are good."

a few minutes later...

a: "I like trees, too"

b: "yeah, trees are smart"

b goes on to explain how photosynthesis works, in solemn wonder.

I can't make this up, people. I'm not that good a writer. 

It bares mentioning that a and b are two younger people, maybe early twenties. Cool kids age, in my opinion. The age range where they need not put an effort forth; they are inherently cool to others not in the age range. I blame this, mainly, for the poor conversation topic and lack of flow. 

I remember being that age, at least a bit. I seem to recall having eerily similar conversation. So please believe me when I say: if I pick on these people, I am at least equal amounts picking on myself. My intention is not to bully (ever). I just can't help but recall a conversation one of the world's coolest attorneys had with me during my two-year-stint at the law firm:

Cool Attorney: "Yeah, the guy just wouldn't stop talking about how decent a person he was. How trustworthy he was."

me: "Ugh. I hate that. Doesn't that so get under your skin?"

CA: "Yes! Don't talk about it -"

me: "Yeah, be about it!"

CA: "Exactly."

I will never forget this conversation. I couldn't help but replay every time I had been the guy making bold claims about myself - nobody's perfect. Regardless: the point is that I did this constantly when I was younger! At aforementioned "Cool Age". Mostly in front of people I was trying to impress (and I was super insecure for a while there, so... everybody, I guess). Like I was attempting to sell myself to them. And, likely, convince myself that I either was these things or at least could be. Ah, Cool Age: the never-ending job interview. 

I know I always say this, but: how cool is this getting-older thing?? May none of us Un-Cools ever have this conversation again. Where we focus mostly on selling something to the other party/ourselves. Where we do not hear, only listen for queues of what we should say next to up the chances of them liking us. Where we hardly learn anything (if that). Where, once we are through, we are exhausted, entirely depleted; roadkill.

I hear a and b mention the words: "Hot Fuzz" and "Peace Lily". My ears perk. There might be hope for these kittens, yet.

a: have you ever seen it?

b: no... it's cops, right?

a: yeah. but they're british

b: what's it about?

a: well, I can't really tell you

b: oh, like it's not really about anything?

a: yeah

b: okay, so no plot, really

a: yeah. well, it is about something technically, but it's just like not.

b: oh, okay.

Forget what I said about not bullying.