It's beginning to look a lot like anxiety.
Yes, with another Thanksgiving under our belt (the same belt that we unbuckled and flung to the wayside on the night), Christmas is sure to peek its garland and baubled head around the corner any minute now. I have already felt the weather turn, I have already heard endless "shopping list" talk and I have already seen peoples' steps quicken, in the way that only stress, obligation and abrupt business can. That and the fact that I spend part of my professional time in a retail environment has lead me to reflect on my holidays passed.
Much like I have never lived the same summer twice, I feel as though the same could be said of the colder season. The main difference, of course, being that in summer I am much less likely to cross the line into weather-based misery. The more interesting difference: the disparity between my current holiday and any in my past has nearly everything to do with my growing, aging self. For me summer is the time to be young, carefree; a kid. Winter (and more specifically Thanksgiving/Christmastime) is the time to really recognize how much you've grown and be an adult. Be assertive, take control, make decisions.
This is where I'd like to go for holiday.
This is how much I'd like to spend on presents.
This is the year I make the presents.
This is who I want to see, and for this amount of time.
Naturally my first few Christmases are a bit of a cozy blur, save for a few incredible food spreads or favorite gifts I received. But at a certain point it made a shift. I made a shift, and with every passing year I put a little more of my foot down, do a little more of what I would like to do for the holiday and, in doing so, a little more of my season is improved. And far, far less stressful.
Of course it helps that I have a very small family (my mother, my sister) who insist that if I am unable to see them exactly on Christmas, the world will not in fact end. This affords me the ability to dodge a large, ugly amount of familial guilt. Which, in turn, affords me the freedom to really make this time of year whatever I want it to be. I can go all out on a Friendsmas at my place; silver trays, matching dish and flatware, expensive wines and decor. I can rack up the hours at my jobs (given the opportunity) and add all the overtime/holiday pay to my savings for next year. I can make rounds to family and friends, I can see a local play, I can travel, I can even choose to stay inside my four walls under a fuzzy blanket, against a plush cushion with a book and a glass of scotch and wait for all of the snow to fall.
For that I am grateful.
Happy holidays and might I suggest that you make what you want of it in the same fashion you would any other day.
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